"The Wondrous Adventures of Slop and Looty."
Hey guys! I was thinking of starting new side project (apart from my Law of the Wolf here). This one is going to be in slightly different key and manner.
I referenced couple of cards here (no spoilers), I'm sure you can easily figure them out. One of them is soon to leave the game unfortunately, but it will remain in our good memories
Here goes:
The Wondrous Adventures of Slop and Looty.
Chapter 1. "Glimpse of Booty."
"Slop! Slop! Did you see that? Right there under the hill by the tree? Look... Look right there!" Little lurky goblin appeared to be very exited by the fact that he saw something from afar. He was jumping all over the place and running in circles. Midget was dressed rather unusual, all of the pieces of his costume hardly matched together, it looked like they were taken from completely different places. Dusty pointy Turkish boots, red and green striped tights caused strong suspicion that they were stolen from jester or circus acrobat long time ago, they were crudely torn below the knee to fit the low height of their owner; rugged vest was covering a T-shirt that haven't seen wash in ages, single bracer on right hand will never have a chance to meet his left hand brother again. In addition to all, stunning image was crowned by the battered horned helmet with a yellow spike somehow attached to the top of it, rattling headwear was dangling around the head like a top of the pot with boiling brew. And his face with a sly smirk... Well let's put it this way: face totally matched the name of its owner - Lootgard Shnobelsky.
"Wha? What's dat?" a massive ogre answered. He looked like weird cross between ogre and orc and maybe something else, god knows what. He had stout heavy body none of the armors will fit. That's why he always was bare chested. He was called Slop and he didn't remember who gave him this name. Whether it was his careless parents that willing to call his child after the food they happened to eat at the day of birth or scoffing humans mocking at the lack of intelligence and manners. He always had more important things to care about rather than names. Like food. The clueless expression on his face was usual reaction to any question his companion was asking him. If any other will ask him anything he would get rather angry.
"Right THERE!" goblin waved his hand in general direction of a hill that was about a few miles away.
"Slop does not understand Looty," ogre sounded rather upset by the inability to share the excitement of his friend.
"The gleam, silly you! I saw it clearly, right over there. There's definitely something. Stand still, I will use you as a watch tower," Looty quickly started to climb up the tall body of his friend, "stop shaking!"
"It tickles. Tee-hee!"
"Calm down now. Turn right... Other right. Right. Now jump. Awww, my helmet! Aha! I saw it again. We need to get there as quickly as possible before someone else will notice that. Go!" and goblin pointed his hand in direction of the place where he wanted to be immediately.
"But... But Slop is hungery."
"Keep you mouth narrow and you step wide."
"Slop needs yammies to liiiiive."
"Look, buddy, when we get there, if we'll find something valuable, I will get you as much food as you desire," promised Looty probably realizing that it is impossible.
"Slop likes fooood..."
"Hey, where's your saber by the way?"
"Wha?" Slop shrugged perplexedly and Looty felt it as he was sitting on his shoulders.
"Weapon that we got from dead warrior fellow last night, I've got the dirk," and he waved small dagger around Slop's nose, "and I gave you the saber, do you remember?"
"Dirk? Saber?"
"Oh, don't tell me you've lost it. AGAIN!" Looty slapped his companion around the shoulder, "do you know what I hate most?"
"Wha?"
"Losses, Sloppy, losses. We have to compensate. Hurry up!"
Goblins as well as ogres or even orcs are rarely seen these days. Why is that? There's no definite opinion amongst the researchers of the High Majesty's Academy. Ones think that ogres being wild brutes cannot accommodate well to the changing environment, others considering ogre's standards of beauty as not corresponding to the biological development. Thing is that the uglier ogre in human's eyes, the prettier he is in opinion of his congeners. This may have caused "unnatural selection" and degeneration of the race as a result.
As to goblins, they were pretty developed race (in their own way), but after some time they've became obsolete. Human scientists had no idea why. But Looty remembered well the stories that his grandfather told him the long winter evenings.
Ok, let's wrap this up for the time being. I would like to see your feedback on this, feel free to post a comment!
Originally Posted by GondorianDotCom
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