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  1. #21
    Lead Developer / Designer Gondorian's Avatar
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    The relationship angle is a whole other story.

    I would guess most start out with both people nice to each other, because that's what you are meant to do. Not being nice doesn't really work ("treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" is occasionally effective from what I hear) , and doesn't get you far enough to know if you are right for each other. Maybe once you know it's not working, then you cut them loose quick, figuring that hurt is better than dragging it out .... ?

    But a reasonable person would try to resolve issues first, if the relationship is getting better, rather than throwing it away?

    Bonus question: If you tell someone you are meeting to discuss a potential holiday together, but actually you won't be there and you sent two other people to dump them instead? What's that called?

  2. #22
    Senior Member Zigbigwig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gondorian View Post
    1.Maybe once you know it's not working, then you cut them loose quick, figuring that hurt is better than dragging it out .... ?

    2. But a reasonable person would try to resolve issues first, if the relationship is getting better, rather than throwing it away?

    3. Bonus question: If you tell someone you are meeting to discuss a potential holiday together, but actually you won't be there and you sent two other people to dump them instead? What's that called?
    1. Unless you get off on pain, or still a bit uncertain def just dump it.

    2. Ofc. Do everything (unless you're certain it's a dead end) in your power to try and sort it out.

    3. Won't be in the holiday or in the meeting that will discuss the potential holiday? it depends, but unreliable is the first that comes to mind.

  3. #23
    Lead Developer / Designer Gondorian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zigbigwig View Post
    3. Won't be in the holiday or in the meeting that will discuss the potential holiday? it depends, but unreliable is the first that comes to mind.
    Won't be in the meeting. It's a trap, essentially. You go there expecting one thing and get hit with another. BOOM!

  4. #24
    Senior Member Pat Jay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gondorian View Post
    The relationship angle is a whole other story.

    I would guess most start out with both people nice to each other, because that's what you are meant to do. Not being nice doesn't really work ("treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" is occasionally effective from what I hear) , and doesn't get you far enough to know if you are right for each other. Maybe once you know it's not working, then you cut them loose quick, figuring that hurt is better than dragging it out .... ?

    But a reasonable person would try to resolve issues first, if the relationship is getting better, rather than throwing it away?

    Bonus question: If you tell someone you are meeting to discuss a potential holiday together, but actually you won't be there and you sent two other people to dump them instead? What's that called?
    It's called "getting someone else to do your dirty work"



    http://www.englishclub.com/ref/esl/I...y_work_399.htm

    GDC... this all personal or just theoretical?

  5. #25
    Senior Member Zigbigwig's Avatar
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    I don't think I'd believe that this is just theoretical.

  6. #26
    Lead Developer / Designer Gondorian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pat Jay View Post
    It's called "getting someone else to do your dirty work"



    http://www.englishclub.com/ref/esl/I...y_work_399.htm

    GDC... this all personal or just theoretical?
    I'm working on my autobiography. Let's leave it there.

  7. #27
    Chat Mod Kip thorp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gondorian View Post
    The relationship angle is a whole other story.

    I would guess most start out with both people nice to each other, because that's what you are meant to do. Not being nice doesn't really work ("treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" is occasionally effective from what I hear) , and doesn't get you far enough to know if you are right for each other. Maybe once you know it's not working, then you cut them loose quick, figuring that hurt is better than dragging it out .... ?

    But a reasonable person would try to resolve issues first, if the relationship is getting better, rather than throwing it away?

    Bonus question: If you tell someone you are meeting to discuss a potential holiday together, but actually you won't be there and you sent two other people to dump them instead? What's that called?

    Well we call that a Cabal,
    As you had your 2 minions go and do the dumping, knowing you were not going to be there. You were the Cabalest and they were the Cabalies. Basically you put up a team to disrupt / deny or just mess with peron A.

    And to Zig: we are all emotional, ( unless we have the ability or lack of being able to feel these, Gondorians psychopath ) from an older perspective, hind sight is always 20/20 and that how we learn, the process is no less painfull to those new to being betrayed. Trust me, I was screwed over by many girls in the past. But now, it's just funny and I can see it coming a mile away. This counts for people I work with and new friends. I'm not always right at all! , god knows that's true! But at least now, I know, there is always a chance I will lose, so blind faith is the one thing I miss from my past.
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  8. #28
    Chat Mod Kip thorp's Avatar
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    Btw, Gondorian, if you get a good grade or help with your thesis, you better loosen up the strings on your SC purse!
    A1 kip thorp
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  9. #29
    Senior Member Pat Jay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gondorian View Post
    Imagine this scenario:

    Person A has low confidence, struggling to be productive and reluctance to continue, and can't see a future worth working towards. Person B does their best to encourage Person A, convincing them it is worth trying, and together the two reach a point where Person A is feeling confident and being productive. Person B then decides to give up on Person A and actually take them away from what they've been built up to do.

    What's that called?

    Simpler version: Person B is nice to Person A for a long time, only then to do the complete opposite later, showing none of the niceness anymore.

    Mental torture? Sadism? Is there a word for when you build someone up to later knock them down, showing there was no compassion there all along?

    It's what psychopaths do, isn't it?
    This to me is "playing dominoes"

    You set them up only to knock them down

  10. #30
    Chat Mod Kip thorp's Avatar
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    +1.
    If the person is smart enough to realize that's what they are doing, and not acting out of moment by moment impulse.
    A1 kip thorp
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