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  1. #11
    DP Visionary Preybird's Avatar
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    Very good, did not see that bit coming!
    Extra Tough Claws - Proud Member of ETC

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  2. #12
    Senior Member Martin JF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Preybird View Post
    Very good, did not see that bit coming!
    Hey, if you could predict everything it wouldn't be all that interesting, would it? :P
    I actually really struggled writing part 2. Mostly because of the pacing, and how much time I could spend writing build-up before something actually happened. I want to keep the story moving forward constantly, while still making it detailed and enjoyable. I feel need to find a balance there, I think. I'm definetly learning as I write, so I'll hopefully get better at all of this shit later :P
    Anyways, I'm rambling, point is; part 2 was difficult to write. Don't know why you all need to know that, but now you do. I think fom now on it will certainly be better.
    I AM THE FRICKIN' ARCH-MAGE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!
    Have a sword in your face!

    God damn these facts getting in the way of my succes!!

  3. #13
    Senior Member True Life's Avatar
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    Nicely done! You have a relaxed style that is good at drawing people in.
    Love always looks for the best, never looks back, and keeps going until the end. Love is not self seeking. Love doesn't keep track of others wrongs. Love is patient and kind; isn't proud or rude; not easily angered; does not delight in evil; always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. All who learn from the Father come to ___.

    Love rejoices in the truth.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Martin JF's Avatar
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    Sorry guys! It has been way too long since I last posted a part of this story! I'm turning into Wulven, lol ;P Anyways, the reasons are 1. I've been a bit more busy, and
    2. I wrote some more about a week ago, but my laptop crashed and I lost about 500 words. Because of that I kinda struggled getting motivated again. Anyways, I think it turned out better than what I lost anyways. :P



    Part 3: Ash and Snow

    When Amara finished reading the letter she threw it into the fire. Her brother was dead, and murdered by the court mage. The Elvari princess marched out the door of her home. The cold bit into her. She had forgotten her coat, but it did not matter to her. Her father first told her to leave Layar and go to a place where she would not be known. Trust no one, he had said. He had not mentioned why she should leave. King Eleon knew his daughter too well; if he had told her the truth at once, she would already have been in Elvar, right in the claws of Altair, the traitor mage. But now she knew. Her brother was dead, and his blood was on the mage’s hands. She were about to leave the city, when she turned around and went for The Warm Hearth bar instead. What good would returning to Elvar achieve? She knew her father was in danger too; why kill the heir and not kill the current king, but by the time she would arrive back in her home it would probably be too late. The mountains of Lyth were almost a world away from the desert of Elvar. Instead she entered the bar, gave the barkeep a pile of coins and started drinking.

    Tespar lay in the corner of his cell. There had been no trial. The mage had caught him red handed, he saw no need to waste anyone’s time listening to a traitor. He did not know how long he had been there; time kind of lived its own life when you were trapped underground. Food came very rarely, and the servants who brought it to him never spoke. He sat there in the dark, barely moving in order to preserve his energy. They knew how fine of a warrior he was and wanted to weaken him before the battle. They didn’t just want to kill him, they wanted to humiliate him. But he would not let that happen. He could not let that happen. He reached for his pocket once again. The coin was still not there. The assassin had probably taken the coin as he disappeared, just as the tavern keeper had predicted. He sighed, before closing his eyes once again.

    Amara woke up in her room with the worst headache she had ever had. A letter lay on the bedside table. She got herself dressed before she went outside. She walked through the frozen streets, towards a house her friend had shown her when she first arrived. Kristoffer was his name. The two had met in Layar. He was an adventurer, just like her. He had travelled the entire world. And now he was home, in the mountains of Lyth. He had definetly been helpful. His house was way too small to house guests, besides it needed cleaning, for no one had lived in the house for 10 years. She knocked on the door. The sound made her head hurt, so she stopped and waited. There was no answer. She stood outside for what felt like an hour, before she decided to look for him elsewhere. If her head had not hurt that much, she might have noticed that someone were following her…

    Tespar woke up when two guards dragged him to his feet. “Walk,” they said and pushed him forwards. “So this is the big day, huh,” Tespar joked. “Don’t I get a final wish?”
    “Be quiet, traitor. You don’t deserve anything but suffering,” The bigger of the two said. Tespar sighed. He saw no point in provoking the guards any further. He had hoped that they would let him have some food before he was thrown in the pit. They followed a series of underground tunnels, and the more they moved, the hotter it got. They were getting closer. They went through a door. The Fighters Home. This was where the fighters would train before they fought. It was located underground, west of the pit itself. A similar training ground was located on the eastern side of the pit as well. Everyone who wanted the honour of killing the traitor would probably be over there. Here, on the western part, he was all alone. Except for the guards, of course. “You have ten minutes,” the smaller one said. “Find a weapon you like. And when you’re ready, give us a good show. The crown needs the money”
    “I will enjoy watching you die,” The bigger one said. “Traitor”
    Hopefully you won’t, Tespar thought, before he started to examine his possible weapons. The Morningstar would be his preference, if it hadn’t been for the heat and his lack of energy. He needed something quick. Time was ticking away, and finally he decided to grab the spear and a very light shield for protection. Then he entered the Pit, and felt the heat kick him in the face.

    Amara swore. What was Kris doing? He had been missing the entire day. Sure enough, the days of Lyth were not as long as the days of Elvar, but it was still a bloody long time to be gone. The sun was going down. It was getting colder. When the snows began to fall she decided to start the journey back to her hotel. She began freezing, so she started to hurry. A good fire was what she needed right now. That and a long talk with Kris. Since the latter was sadly out of the question right now, she had to settle for just the former. When she was almost there, she felt really cold for a moment, before she fell over frozen solid.

    Once he recovered from the sudden heat, Tespar observed his new enemies. Three young warriors. They seemed fit as well. He had only expected to fight one at a time. He went towards them, slowly. The all kept pretty close together, and they all carried swords. This would be close to impossible. Once they got reasonably close, one of his enemies charged towards him. Tespar jumped to the side and plunged his spear into the man’s back. The second warrior charged toward him. Tespar tried to get the spear out of the first. It was stuck. When he realised this, he tried to dodge out of the way, but he had reacted too late. The blade bit into his shoulder, and he fell to the ground. The crowd went wild and threw roses down at the victors. The guards entered the arena to dispose of the body. Tespar was still alive as he was thrown down the Ash gate…
    I AM THE FRICKIN' ARCH-MAGE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!
    Have a sword in your face!

    God damn these facts getting in the way of my succes!!

  5. #15
    Senior Member Martin JF's Avatar
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    Oh, I will try to write more regularly now. I think I can manage it, but I dunno, we'll see I'm pretty motivated to write more, tho I get dragged into the story myself :P
    I AM THE FRICKIN' ARCH-MAGE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!
    Have a sword in your face!

    God damn these facts getting in the way of my succes!!

  6. #16
    DP Visionary Preybird's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martin JF View Post
    Oh, I will try to write more regularly now. I think I can manage it, but I dunno, we'll see I'm pretty motivated to write more, tho I get dragged into the story myself :P
    Good stuff, looking forward to more!

    Seems today is the day for SE fiction
    Extra Tough Claws - Proud Member of ETC

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  7. #17
    Chat Mod Vexmaw's Avatar
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    Nice work man, a good read.
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