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  1. #1
    Senior Member Martin JF's Avatar
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    Fan Fiction - Burning Sands

    Let's give this thing a try! I began writing this a while ago, but got inspired to continue after reading Preybirds The War Within, so here it is, the first part of my Shadow Era fanfic, Burning Sands. I don't think I can compete with Preybird, or anyone else for that matter, but please, read it I really appreciate it, So, read it, give me feedback, etc. etc, and I hope you enjoy it

    Part 1 - Investigations

    Tespar stopped at the well to take a drink. It was the hottest day in living memory, and yet Tespar wore his plate mail, as he had done ever since he arrived at the city of Elvar to join the city guard. It did not matter to him that the city was located in the scorching desert. He had been sent from Irum, as a gift to Elvar, A fine warrior to serve in the city watch as a symbol of peace between the kingdoms. It had not taken more than a few months before he rose to the position of commander of the city watch. 6 years he had served Elvar now. The first days had been unbearable, and he had almost passed out on several occasions. But without his armor he never felt safe, and this was especially true in times like these. To think that the kings own son had been murdered in his own room, deep within the castle… Nowhere was safe anymore. Tespar had barely known the boy, the kid preferred to keep to himself. But he had seemed like a likable lad, and he was the son of his king. Tespar felt like a failure. He was supposed to serve and protect him, after all. But he had failed. Tespar had spent the entire week searching for clues, but once again he had to return to the castle with nothing to report.

    Tespar walked into the Sandstone Keep and saw the throne empty. Not unexpected, of course. That week king spent all his time in the crypt underneath the castle, mourning. Tespar opened the grey door that led into the royal crypt before he stopped. He could hear voices. Two of them. As he came closer, he recognized the first. It was the Kings voice. Not a surprise at all, considering the circumstances. The second voice was certainly familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. He moved as silently as he could in his heavy armor. As he moved closer, he recognized the voice. It was the court mage, Altairn. Altairn had been gone for a month on errands for the crown, and Tespar had almost forgotten his silky smooth voice. “No, your grace. I do not think your father was a fool, but-“
    “He was a fool. A good man, but a fool”, Tespar had never heard King Eleon talk like that about his father like that. Eleon’s father had died of old age three years past. Tespar remember it well. The whole city had mourned for weeks. In comparison, it almost seemed like no one in the city knew that the king’s heir had been murdered. No one seemed to remember. It seemed strange to Tespar. “You are right”, the king continued. “We can’t let that invasion stop us forever. Your magic will keep the beasts harmless, even if we decide to reopen the pit, is that correct?” Tespar remembered the invasion. Five years ago, beasts had swarmed out of the city’s Fighting Pit. Monsters with no other goal than to reduce the city to ashes. Altairn had finally saved the city by sealing the monsters under the Ashpit, were they belonged. They were no danger to the city now.
    “Yes. Your father felt it was best to close the Ashpit after the invasion, even though I insisted it would not matter. He didn’t care about the loss of income closing the pit would cause. He didn’t want to take any risks”
    “Is there a risk?” He noticed the sound of Tespars approaching. He turned around. “Oh, it’s you, commander. Any progress in the investigation?” He said, even though he knew the answer would be the same as always. There just were no clues to go by. Tespar answered with silence. The king sighed. “How is it possible that someone enters the castle, gets past the twenty or so guards placed to protect him, murders my son and then just disappears? It's like he is some sort of ghost. Whovever is responsible, one thing is for certain;We are dealing someone dangerous here, Tespar. I want you to find him. I don’t care how. But for now, the crown needs more money to increase the safety in the castle. I have sent a messenger to my daughter for her to return, and I am reopening the Ashpit.”

    Tespar was silent for a few seconds. He remembered the Ashpit well. A big, underground arena built in the cavern below the city. It used to be a huge attraction; people from all over the world would go to Elvar to see the brave warriors fight to the death in the incredible heat, or to test their strength and endurance and become an Ashpit Warrior themselves, and win gold and glory. For quite some time the pit had also served as a prison. A rapist was forced to fight ten times, a murderer 20, and a thief once before they would be let free. However, almost all new challengers fell, and it had not been uncommon that even the victor fell due to the heat afterwards. The heat killed more people than steel. On the stands, the heat in the caves was intense. The sun above was nothing in comparison. Down in the pit itself, however, the heat was devastating. Wearing armor of any kind was suicide; it would almost melt into your skin. most chose to fight in nothing more than a loincloth while wielding a spear. But all who visited the Ashpit had one thing in common; they all had to walk through one of the four gates. The Gold Gate was for those who wanted only to watch and bet on the poor souls below. The Iron Gate was where all fortune seekers who wished to duel would enter, and if they won, they would leave through the Silver Gate to greet the fans and receive their winnings in silver coins. If they were to fall, due to heat or steel, they would be thrown into the Ash Gate. The Ash Gate was not much more than a hole in the ground they used to get rid of the corpses and no one knew where it leads. All they knew were that it wasn’t pleasant.
    “Are you sure about this, your grace?” Tespar had seen the men fighting scream as the destroying it got to them before someone showed a spear through their guts. He had seen men foolish enough to wear clothes catch fire, from gods know what, and he had seen their burnt bodies being thrown down the Ash Gate. He couldn't say that he was among those who wanted to witness such things again.
    “Yes, I am sure. The city has been going downhill ever since my father closed the damn place. I mean to reopen it. Altairn has assured me that nothing can go wrong. Oh, and that’s right. I mentioned my daughter, did I not? When she returns to the city, I want you to be with her, always. She is my last child, and I cannot afford to lose her. Not in times like these.” And with these words, the king wanted to be left alone with his son.
    Last edited by Martin JF; 03-28-2013 at 01:34 PM.
    I AM THE FRICKIN' ARCH-MAGE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!
    Have a sword in your face!

    God damn these facts getting in the way of my succes!!

  2. #2
    DP Visionary Preybird's Avatar
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    Colour me intrigued I'm liking it.
    Extra Tough Claws - Proud Member of ETC

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  3. #3
    Senior Member BDK16's Avatar
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    Nice work Martin

  4. #4
    Senior Member Martin JF's Avatar
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    Thanks I definetly enjoy writing, so the next part should come pretty soon. That people enjoy it, makes it even more enjoyable to write!
    I AM THE FRICKIN' ARCH-MAGE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!
    Have a sword in your face!

    God damn these facts getting in the way of my succes!!

  5. #5
    DP Visionary Mongoosey's Avatar
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    I liked it. I reckon PreyBird did the hit.
    "I'll have you know I have the reflexes of a cat, and the speed of a mongoose"

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    Devoted Fan Gondorian's Avatar
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    It was good. You make a much better writer than Shadow Era player and card designer. Looking forward to more.

  7. #7
    Senior Member BDK16's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gondorian View Post
    You make a much better writer than Shadow Era player and card designer.
    :P

  8. #8
    DP Visionary a player's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martin JF View Post
    Thanks I definetly enjoy writing, so the next part should come pretty soon. That people enjoy it, makes it even more enjoyable to write!
    I really like your writing, Martin! Great story so far, and leaves me wanting to read MORE!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Martin JF's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by a player View Post
    I really like your writing, Martin! Great story so far, and leaves me wanting to read MORE!
    More might be possible! :P


    Part 2 – A shadow on the wall

    Searching the city was hopeless. No one had seen anything suspicious, and there were no clues to go by. To have any chance to catch the killer, he would have to start over again. He decided to go over the castle one more time. The king had said that he trusted everyone in his court, but Tespar was not quite that trusting. He went through every room in search of anything that could be of value to his investigations. He felt down. After he searched the kitchen (he insisted to search absolutely everywhere) he was about to go to the king and tell him that it was hopeless, and that the murderer of his son would forever go unpunished. He did begin to feel a little better when the royal cook gave him some slices of bacon. Another hour passed before he reached the Mage’s quarters. Altairn was probably in the gardens, studying magical herbs and spices, so Tespar would be free to search his room without any disturbances. He began searching, but he was not surprised when the search came up empty. He was about to leave when he noticed a small silver coin on one of the three desks in Altair’s chambers. One side showed a skull, the some words in a language Tespar did not recognize. It was probably just something Altairn had picked up on his travels. Nevertheless, Tespar was curious, so he put the mysterious coin in his pocket before he went back into the throne room. King Eleon sat on his throne, talking to Altairn. “Have you found anything new, commander,” Eleon said even though he knew the answer already. Tespar shook his head. “Any news from your daughter, your grace?” Tespar was looking forward to meeting the princess. According to the king, she had left the desert when she turned 18. Hungry for adventure, Eleon had told him a few years earlier. “No, no news yet. That’s not unexpected, though. She is a whole world away, in Layar. It would probably take another week before they even heard from her.

    Five days passed, there were still no news from the king’s daughter, and it was time for the grand reopening of the Ashpit. Tespar was commanded to come, and he was to bring 10 of his best men as well. Alcohol and bloodshed were good sources of income, but it was also quite a dangerous combination. In the past it had not been unusual for brawls to start among the viewers. He himself had never understood the joys of watching others fight to the death for money. To him battle was something sacred, something to both fear and respect. But he would do as the king commanded him to, as he always had. The city had not been this busy in years. People from the entire world had come to see the Ashpit reopened, but luckly for Tespar and his guards, the heat made everyone too tired to make any trouble. As the night went on, the last fight approached. On one side, a man named Puwen stood ready. Puwed had fought bravely this night. He had slain no less than six enemies, but even so he held his sword clumsily. The man had entered the Iron Gate clad in iron armor, but quickly realized that it would never work in the heat, and went in without it. Earlier in the evening Puwen has seemed calm and collected, but now he seemed nervous. Tespar would be nervous too if he had to fight the Ash Knight. The Ash Knight wore black armor like it was a cool summer night, and he wielded a greatsword which he swung with ease. As the battle started Puwen got a few hits in, but the armor took all the damage. The Ash Knight, however, did not need to worry about armor, and with a single well aimed strike, Puwen was defeated. Tespar had to look away. How the mysterious ash knight could wear armor in the hellish ashpit, he wished he would never know.

    Tespar felt in his pocket, and found Altairn’s mysterious coin. He went over to one of the tables where he saw a well know face. It was the owner of a tavern called the Red Herring. The tavern keeper was well known for his less than legal activities, and he seemed to know everything that went on in the city. The man had said he knew nothing about the murder, but perhaps he knew something about the coin. It was mostly because of his curiosity. If the old man didn’t know anything, he could always just ask the mage himself.
    “Do you know what this is,” Tespar asked, and showed the tavern owner the coin. The man hesitated a little bit. “Is this some sort of trick?” He did not trust Tespar, and understandably so. Tespar was not just a common guard, he was the bloody commander, and men like the owner of the Red Herring did not simply spill all his secrets to the bloody commander.
    “No, it is not a trick. I want to know what this is.”
    “It’s a coin. There is nothing more to know.” It was obvious the man didn’t want to talk to the commander of the city watch. Tespar could see the man become more nervous every second he stood there. “If you tell me the truth about it, I will see that you are rewarded. If you lie, I will look forward to watching your performance in the pit.” Tespar did not like to make threats, nor did he like to bribe people, but in this case it seemed necessary. The man sighed.
    “Alright, have it your way. Have you ever heard of the Nightshades, my lord?” the man was sweating now, and not just from the heat. Tespar did not answer, and so the man continued; “They are a secret organization who kill for money. Big sums of money, but they say no one does the job better.” Tespar took a while to reflect on this. “So where does the coin come in?” Tesper just now realized that he was onto something big.
    “I am not sure about the details, but they say that when you want someone dead, you talk to the nightshades, give them a pile of money, and they give you one of these coins. Then they kill the guy, and come back for the coin. It is one of their rituals, see” But before he could even finish, Tespar had already left through the Golden Gate and headed up to the palace. He had to warn king Eleon, but if he had stayed and listened for just a few more minutes, he would have heard that once the Nightshades received their payment, nothing could save their target.

    He ran down into the crypts. The king had stayed at the castle for the entire night, too depressed over his dead son to enjoy the bloodshed in the pit. And sure enough, there he was. The king sat in silence in front of his sons place in the crypt. The shadows seemed to dance in the torchlight. “your grace, my apologies, but there is something I need to tell you. I know who did it”
    “So do I,” the king said. The words almost stuck in his throat. “What was I supposed to do? The only person keeping the damn city together conspires to take over the throne, and what was I supposed to do. He thinks I don’t know, but I’ve always known. I’ve been so close to murdering the bastard. But I couldn’t. Not while knowing that his death would let the beasts of the Ashpit loose once again” tears were in the kings eyes. Tespar was speechless “I am next. The bastard wants to take to throne for himself, and he needs me gone. My daughter. I need you to help my daughter. I told here to go to Lyth. Find her…” The words stopped there. A figure stepped out of the shadows in the crypt and slit Eleon’s throat. Tespar reached for his sword, but it was too late. He was gone, and the king was dead. Tespar heard footsteps. “What have you done?” Altairn shouted at the commander. “This man is a traitor! Bring him to the Ashpit!”
    Last edited by Martin JF; 04-03-2013 at 09:49 PM.
    I AM THE FRICKIN' ARCH-MAGE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE!!
    Have a sword in your face!

    God damn these facts getting in the way of my succes!!

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sea1111's Avatar
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    *applauds*

    This is the Era of the Fan Fiction, ladies and gentlemen.

    Nice work, btw. :P

    Look forward to reading more!
    Proud member of TEAM JUGGERNAUTS!


    Sea1111

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    Majiya froze as her Fire Snake dies,
    Blake Windrunner strikes the final blow, upon the enemy,
    And Majiya was no more.^
    ^


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