Fan Fiction - Ill Gotten Gains

**Direwulven** · 06-08-2012, 03:40 AM

I had a humourous thought of what Ill Gotten Gains

is all about and would like to share it in the form of fan fiction. Apologies if this is not the right forum

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In the Examination Room, he could see an immense silhouette appraising the various weapons and armours that were laid on the table. Taking care not to break the concentration of the appraiser, Lance

gently pulled a chair, sat down and patiently waiting for the completion of this examination of his spoils. No one in his right frame of mind would like to disturb Mastermerchant Ignatius Gemmill-Goddard (or more affectionately known as Master Iggy) at work.

Mastermerchant Ignatius has always maintained that he is the true and sole surviving member of the Gemmill-Goddards, an extremely influential family who was responsible for all high street financings in the kingdom of Elletse. No Elletseans would be able to raise any form of finance without the backing of the Gemmill-Goddards. Not even the Royal Purse enjoys such clout. Rumour has it that the family’s extensive influence was the cause of their mysterious massacre one moonless night four decades ago. Mastermerchant Ignatius being a bastard child (a fact that he strongly denies) of a dalliance between Jayson Gemmill-Goddard and one of the serving wenches survived that massacre when his mother had him delivered outside the Gemmill-Goddard Manor.

Master Iggy glared at Lance

and barked. “You expect me to pay for a god-damned rusty sword? At least Serena

was able to provide me with an almost brand new Dimension Ripper!”.

Lance

replied, spreading his hands helplessly, “Well, the terms set out by I.G.G., Inc. is that a string of couns for every item obtained regardless of quality and condition. I’m not asking too much, am I? Moreover I have also presented you with two Nightshades.”

“And what do you expect me to do with those elusive creatures? At least get me some of those Rosecult girls and I could get good value out of them with Mistress Sybil down at Indulgent Roses! What about the four I.G.G. agents that accompanied you? They were my very best!”

“I had snared one with my trusty Anklebreaker

but she was quick to retreat from the skirmish”, replied Lance

defensively, “As for your agents, the damned priestess somehow destroyed each and every one of them.”

Just as Master Iggy was about to retort, cries of “THIEF! STOP THAT THIEF!” could be heard in the compound. The door opened and a small young lad quickly slipped into the Examination Room, bowed in the direction of Master Iggy and presented him with a trinket, “Master Iggy, a token of appreciation from my lord Shadowstalker.”

Master Iggy took a quick look at the elaborately carved jade bracelet and gave a quick nod, “Belongs to Mistress Sybil’s girls. Just as well, Sybil has been a little short in her monthly contribution to me. I see more potential in you than your lord Shadowstalker” as he gave Lance

a sour look.

“There is one more chance for you to atone for this poor haul. A train of spice caravans belonging to Mastermerchant Hildan is on its way via the Northern Highway. I have no love for Hildan but certainly bear more affection for his spices. Get me the stuff and I am willing to forgive you for the loss of my agents.”

Lance nodded and strode away with his little thief. As he was closing the door, Master Iggy yelled “Oh by the way, the caravan is being escorted by one of the Frost Mages. Bring something warm to wear!”