How could you let this happen Design Team?
*WARNING LONG POST*
I’ve been waiting for update 1.5 with the completed set for so long. I got tired of the game at 1.28 because of its predictability. 1.29 did nothing to improve the situation. Then I was forced to wait three months for the next update, 1.5. THREE WHOLE MONTHS!!! In internet time, that is like the never-ending story, except that it ends…in three months.
After three months of riding on the dog/dragon I was finally able to accept that LSD is not a solution to my boredom with Shadow Era, and that I should reconnect with the real world. Especially because I could play Shadow Era 1.5, instead of listening to my girlfriend, my boss, my friends, and my family bitch at me about how I waste all my time and talent.
What a sap I was to believe that everything would be made right. I suppose it’s true what they say…Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, because you live in a modern city and no one uses a basket to carry eggs.
There are so many things wrong with 1.5 that I don’t know where to begin.
1. There are too many cards.
I have a hard time making decisions unless it’s a situation where the ideal choice is made painfully obvious. For example: Kitten VS Rabid Wolverine, Lice Infested Pillow VS Hot Tub, or Curvier Penis VS Larger Butthole.
With 1.5 I can’t possibly build a good deck. There are just too many choices, and almost all of them are good. Is this what I waited so long for? I’m not a thinker, I’m a doer. I don’t want to have to worry about strategy and testing. I want to copy and paste my deck from the forums and kick the shit out of almost everyone I come across.
Now all of the sudden I actually have to decide between more than two tier one heroes with their ideal deck. I wanted the game to not be as predictable as it was in 1.28/1.29, but still be predictable enough to where I could win all the time. I’ve got two words for you design team…GRANDIOSE FLOP.
2. 1.5 Needs More Cards
I know what you’re thinking, didn’t he just say that there are too many cards in 1.5? You’d be wrong, because I wrote it, but stick with me. I want more cards for me, not for everyone else. I want my own hero, my own abilities, allies, weapons, armors, and items. It can be an expansion called The Call of the Yeezut (which incidentally sounds like a mix between a turkey and a whale song).
Why do I deserve to have my own exclusive (OP) cards? Simple...because I thought of it first. All the rest of you can find your own game to unreasonably demand preferential treatment. I expect the design team can have this hammered out in a couple days, and then the devs can get them programmed in by the end of the week. Quickly addressing this issue actually solves my first problem , so it’s killing two birds with a hand grenade.
3. No Bear Suit Armor Card
No explanation needed.
(Credit to qwerty for the card)
Bear Suit2.jpg
4. Where the hell are my physical cards?
I hate all the new cards because they are confusing and frightening, but I want them in my hands right now.
I preordered a couple sets of the physical cards (not the whole set, mind you, because I don’t whore myself on the street corner). Like everyone else I haven’t received them yet, and I want to know why I am not already sitting in my special Shadow Era chair, rifling through my cards.
I’d open the first pack slowly…not to seem too eager, but not so slowly that it seems like I’ve never opened one before. I’d take my time looking at each card…sometimes pausing on one card or the other…sometimes rapidly passing them from one hand to the other, and then slowing down again. Maybe I’d give some of the cards a gentle caress with my tongue…then I’d open the next pack..and another…then another, and another, then another… wait…what was I talking about again?
Here is what you wish a picture of me licking a card looks like:
licking a card.jpg
Now if you listen to the Wulven mouthpieces they’re gonna throw around big words like “manufacturing and shipping times” “reasonable expectations” and “deranged lunatic”. Don’t believe their nonsense…believe mine. Their crowd-sourcing fundraiser generated more than seven times their original goal of $20,000. Why haven’t they used some of that extra money to create or buy a remote matter transmission device? A quick google search shows that such a device is possible.
Here is an example of a teleportation device:
Teleporter.jpg
We could all have our cards in-hand, right now, if Kyle “Still Not a Wolf Man” Poole would stop rolling around on his big pile of money, and teleport us our cards.
TL;DR: Unicorns are awesome!
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Originally Posted by CodeDomination
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